Dealing With Difficult People

(Message by Pastor Dominic Rodrigues from Korba, Chhattisgarh)

It is my privilege to share the Word with you today. I am pastoring the Masih Aradhana Church, in Korba, Chhattisgarh, which is part of Race of Joy Ministries based in Agra.

Today, as we open up our bibles, let us focus our hearts and minds to hear the word of God. May His word richly dwell in us-this is the purpose of hearing. We know the verse from John 3:16- an open invitation to all to believe in Christ and experience everlasting life; but let us remember the verse from Col. 3:16 as well-a call to Christians for correct living-“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”

Today, I want to talk about how to deal with difficult people and circumstances. Remember-we are called to be His witnesses wherever we go! How can we show-up Christ in our everyday life? We are going to face some difficult people, and some unpleasant circumstances; but thank God for Word. We read in it about people who found favor with God-even as they dealt with difficult people and situations in their own lives; and we can learn from them. You see, they were no different from you and me; for they faced similar hurdles, yet overcame those hurdles by displaying some unique traits of Christ-likeness. We will see them one-by-one

Noah

God called this man to do something special; He gave Noah a vision and a mission-something that had never been accomplished before-building an ark! You see, those days, there was no rain. People around had no idea of what he was talking about, as he went about building the ark. They mocked at him. But it is written about Noah in Gen. 6:9 “…Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God.”

And in verse 22, “Thus Noah did; according to all that God commanded him, so he did.” (Gen. 6:22). The character of obedience was Noah’s forte-no matter how little he understood of what God told him-he was determined to fulfill it. We can learn from Noah, obedience to God’s word-complete and immediate obedience. Not partial obedience of taking what suits you-which is in effect disobedience! Whatever God says, do it all for Him! This will help us face difficult people, because we live not as men-pleasers, but God-pleasers.

Jacob

We know the history of Jacob-a schemer, through and through. But there was a time in his life, when he had to deal with his past-he was about to meet his estranged brother Esau! He had heard Esau was coming with a company of 400 men. Left alone, Jacob struggled with his own emotions and fears, and he met God. He prayed, please bless me – “I will not let You go unless You bless me!”  What happened? He was a changed man from then on-his name was changed from Jacob to Israel.

Prayer signifies our dependence on God; prayer leads to humility. This is what we learn from Jacob-Humility. Jesus humbled Himself and He calls us to humble ourselves. This may be quite easy in God’s presence; but how about humbling yourself as you face others in the world? The Lord sees the heart; and His hand is stretched out against the haughty. Jacob humbled himself before Esau. We can learn this from him and humble ourselves before our brothers and sisters, here and now.

Joseph

Yes, we know about Joseph too! We know of his dreams and his interpretations. He loved his brothers and would visit them, bring them food. But you know what- his brothers hated him and sought an opportunity to put him away! People around us would do the same-they will forget our good deeds and even become ungrateful over a period of time, they will misuse us – these are the ‘well’ experiences that Joseph faced too! Or there may be a temptation we may face in our life; Joseph faced it too! And he triumphed over it. Gen.39:2 says that the LORD was with Joseph and He found the favor of God (v21). His question can be our quest too-“How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”

Holiness is what God is calling us to. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and the Lord does watch over His temple. No temptation will be too great-for the Holy Spirit will be our Helper; the church leaders are there to help us; our brothers and sisters in Christ are there to help us lead a holy life-there is no excuse for ‘falling’ in sin!

Moses

Do you wonder what we can learn from Moses? Really, a lot! We know of all his excuses when God called him. We know of his anger and burden for the people of Israel. But let me choose for now one instance in Moses’ life and his character revealed through it – He longed for God’s presence. His Holy Presence will help us deal with difficult circumstances. Moses wanted God’s presence more than anything; remember in Exodus 33, he was given an option to proceed further to the Promised Land-with an Angel! But Moses cried out in verse 15 …and said to Him “If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here.”

We can learn to pray like Moses... Lord, I long for Your Presence only. Let me find grace in Your sight. Come with me! Help me.

David

Have you ever wondered how many people are willing to give advice and opinions when you have to face the difficulties in life? There will be quite a few. David faced it too. The young lad had heard Goliath and was determined to face the giant alone in battle (1 Samuel 17). But then he heard various opinions from his own brothers. Even king Saul had his own opinions (v33) and adviced David on what to wear and what to carry. And you know what David did – He followed none of their advices, but remembered his past victories in God-victories over a lion and a bear! David said to Saul: "Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God."

Remember what God has done for you. For Saul had a plan for young David-but it was not God’s plan! David had a plan based on his own experiences of what God had done in the past; and a vision of the future-of what would happen to Goliath. And it worked perfectly!

Where do you go for your own vision of the future? Do you run to the church leaders and search for answers; or would you rather remember of what God has done with you in the past and yield to God’s plan? Forget not all His benefits-for He has redeemed your life from destruction.

Joseph (of Arimathea)

Luke 23:50, 51 talks about a just man, Joseph-who was watching and waiting for the kingdom of God. That speaks a lot about that man Joseph who, though being a council member of the Jews, did not consent to the decision of handing over Jesus to Pilate. Now, this Joseph, after Jesus’ death on the cross, went and asked Pilate for the body of Jesus-the One who was handed over to Pilate by the Jewish council members!

Here we are waiting for the Lord’s return. The Lord is coming to take His people… the harvest is indeed plenty, but the laborers are few. If you are watching and waiting for the Lord’s return, let us also do the right things-be just, be righteous, be merciful, be honest. Because we fear God, we will not consent to evil. Trust in God and do the right!

Jesus

Jesus left His glory, came as a baby; lived as a human but underwent inhuman sufferings; convicted though sinless, died among sinners, but rose again victorious. Peter had this image of Jesus fixed on his mind “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth…” (Isaiah 53: 7). That is why Peter writes:

1 Peter 2: 20-24

For what credit is it if, when you are beaten  for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: “Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth”; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness-by whose stripes you were healed.

Suffer in silence. This is what we learn from Jesus. This is what we are called for when we have to deal with difficult people in our own lives. We have a perfect example in Jesus.

May we learn from these people in the Bible and learn to deal with different people and difficult circumstances. Amen.

Jacob

Message (Great men in the bible - series) by Pastor Philip Joseph at NLF, Vashi, Navi Mumbai.(...developed from what I recall on Monday & Tuesday - may not match word to word, but must convey the spirit of the message! Happy reading!)

If you've been  in awe of the great men in the bible, about how well they had started their life journey, how close they were to God, you may tend to feel that we could never come up to that level of a relationship with God. But today, let me talk about a man, we could all easily relate to - one who was crafty, one who'd never shy to make underhand deals, one who'd get his right to live the 'good-life' by hook or by crook - the man JACOB.

He is introduced to us in the Bible in Gen. 25:23 "And the Lord said to her (Rebekah): 'Two nations are in your womb, two peoples shall be separated from your body; One people shall be stronger than the other, and the older shall serve the younger'" - This was the man, holding on to the heel of Esau his elder brother even while coming out of the mother's womb and hence named "Jacob" - a supplanter, one who usurps not necessarily by fair means. A shrewd man, and impatient. Yet God, who is merciful, met him, and his life had a turnaround for the better; God testifying about him in Rom 9:13 "Jacob I have loved; and Esau I hated"

What we learn from Jacob's life is the truth of this word, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap" - Gal. 5:7. The sooner we learn this truth, the better!

Whatever be your spiritual position, if you sow an apple seed you are going to reap an apple tree - notwithstanding the amount of prayer and fasting you do for anything otherwise. Jacob learnt this lesson the hard way. He must have grown up hearing his mother (who loved him more than the elder Esau) say, 'The Lord told me that you will be greater than your brother". But then, when his brother was hungry for food, he was quick enough to make a deal for the birthright.  Later, when his father called to bless his sons, Jacob pretended to be Esau, fooled his father, Isaac, in order to obtain his blessings. An impatient man - he knew how to get what he wanted in more ways than one!

We see in the new testament written about this man Jacob, that God had chosen him, before he was born; before he had done anything good or evil, according to God's own election and plan (Rom. 9: 10, 11). But Jacob was impatient - not waiting for God's will to be fulfilled in its time, using his craftiness to achieve what was anyway promised.

And in Jacob's life, we see that his own sons cheated him - when they came and informed that Joseph, Jacob's well-loved son, was dead! And we know the story of how God made the circumstances so unfavorable for Jacob in Canaan, that he had to flee to another place, under another man - Laban, his mother's brother - a man more shrewd than him! A man who'd regularly cheat Jacob of his wages. (I remember, when I had joined my first job, they had promised a salary; but at the end of the month, they informed me, they would pay me only 50% of what was promised! I was so disappointed, but I stuck on; and the next month they gave me 75%. And praise God, from the 3rd month they gave me full salary!). But now imagine being cheated 'TEN times' (Gen 31: 7); the man Laban who'd trick him again in Jacob's choice of bride right on the wedding day; Jacob finding Leah instead of Rachel-whom Jacob loved...A man who made him toil day and night for years and years (Gen. 31: 38-41), without letting him go. "Whatever a man sows, that he also will reap".

Afterwards, we see, God intervening in Jacob's life! Jacob was desperate for a change and entirely frustrated in Laban's house, when God told him in a dream to return to Canaan. Jacob again used his craftiness to flee from Laban - when Laban left for shearing his sheep during 3 days! Laban pursued Jacob, only to be warned by God -"Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad". Then when Jacob, while he was still on the way, sought to make peace with Esau, his estranged brother - when he heard that Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men (Gen. 32: 6). Jacob's heart sank.

This was the point of no-return for Jacob - in the wilderness, nowhere to turn, nobody to help! It was then he made a wise decision to seek the Lord God! He sent all his family members ahead of him across the Jordan river, while he himself was left alone...when he 'wrestled with God' (Gen. 32: 24). And God met this man - and how!  In our deepest crises of life, we can make a decision too - to be alone with God. Jesus has asked us to 'go into the inner room, shut the door, and there pray to the Father in heaven'. Jacob at wit's end, clinging to God and crying, "I will not not let You go, unless You bless me". And God touched him and blessed him and changed his name. "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel...". From that day onwards, Jacob's life was changed - he no longer depended on his mind to plan crafty things! He had to limp and depend on a staff to even walk!! It symbolises his dependence on God who met him there. Jacob was chosen even before birth, but took years learning to trust God...learning to lean on Him. It says in Heb. 11: 21 that "By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, and worshiped, leaning on the top of his staff".

Jesus told his disciples, "You did not choose me, but I chose you". God has chosen us - each one of us here! If God can change Jacob's life and bless him, the same God can do the same, for you and for me. What he's done for Jacob, he'll surely do for you! Psalm 46: 1 says "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble"

The man Jacob, who fled from place to place and from one person to the other, (as if from the frying pan to the fire, in his early days), after he had met with God, could stand before Pharaoh, the king of Egypt and bless him. It records in the bible that Jacob blessed Pharaoh! And in return, Pharaoh made sure that Jacob and his sons had the best piece of land in all of Egypt!

In closing, let me read from Psalm 46: 10, 11 "Be still and know that I am God...The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge". Yes, He is the God of Jacob who is our refuge.

"The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge". Amen