Bringing Up Children

(Message by Pastor Philip Joseph. Children- bring them; become them; bring them up!)

Our Lord Jesus was concerned for each one of the little children (infants) brought to Him. (Luke 18:15-17). We too must be concerned for our own children- it is our responsibility. Our parents may leave us wealth and houses, but it is written “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD; the fruit of the womb is a reward.” (Psalm 127:3). They are like arrows that go before us, and this is what I tell my son, too- that he has to go farther than me; that he has to go higher… As parents, I know we all wish well for our children. But, let me share with you 7 principles from the Bible in which we must show responsibility towards our children.

If you are a parent, then these words should encourage you to know of God’s plan for your children. If you are an young adult waiting to get married, you too can read and prepare yourself for the forthcoming responsibility.

I do not speak these 7 principles of bringing up children, as someone who has already accomplished it, but rather from a heart-felt burden that we may all become and be parents according to God’s word and ways. God’s word is not just theory that we read and seek an explanation; but is also practical, that we can surely DO and follow. And in today’s world (of worldwide web, active information-dissemination and hugely popular social networks), it is really a challenge for parents to guide their own children in godly ways. We can take up this challenge by following these 7 principles.

1. Faith Hebrews 11:23 “By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s command.”
This entire chapter of Hebrews 11 is about champions of faith- people who had accomplished mighty things in the Lord by faith and appropriated God’s blessings. By faith, Sarah, a woman barren for long, received strength to conceive and she bore a child although she was past the ‘child-bearing’ age (Heb. 11:11). And by faith, Moses’ parents, knowing the king’s harsh command to slay every male child, did not do so… but hid him for 3 months. And we know how Moses, was adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter, was nursed by his own mother, and grew up and chose to be different from the Egyptian princes. I believe that his parents played a part in imbibing and transmitting something spiritual into Moses’ life- that he should choose to suffer affliction with the people of God (Heb. 11:25) many years later.

Moses’ life is a wonderful example of how our Sovereign God can ordain circumstances in the life of a person, to answer the faith of his parents. In case of Moses, it would be many years later that he would ‘turn’ in of obedience to God’s call. He took a stand for the Jewish people- his own people, and turned history on its head.
Today, God is waiting to answer your faith – towards your own children. Have you imparted something spiritual- a spiritual seed, in them that can grow? “That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as pillars, sculptured in palace style…” [Psalm 144:12].

2. Intercession

Job 1:5 says: So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did regularly.

Give yourself to intercessory prayer for your children. Job was a man who was not satisfied with his own wonderful relationship with God. He wanted the relationship to extend even towards his own children. So he regularly interceded for them, offering sacrifices. We can be like Job, and intercede for our children, pray on their behalf, before our One Mediator. We will certainly receive mercy. For, love covers a multitude of sins, and we will have joy as we receive our children, even if they have gone astray for now. Continue steadfastly in interceding for your children.

In Col. 4:2, Paul encourages the believers to continue earnestly in prayer, in the context of family relationships. If you love your children, pray for them.

3. Love

Titus 2:4 “…that they may admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children…”
Love is the greatest thing… and loving our children must be one of our priorities. It seems strange that the author should even write to parents reminding them to love their children, but there it is- it is the parent’s responsibility to love.

As children, they may be prone to life’s errors while learning their life-lessons. And our children may misunderstand us sometimes; and we may misunderstand them too, sometimes. But in all, the children must always have the assurance of our love; and they must be secure in our love. Even as I say this, I know that this is one aspect that I was blessed with in my own life- that I have always felt that I am greatly loved by my parents. Our children must have free access to us anytime they require us, and feel confident and secure in the love we give them.

4. Discipline

Eph. 6:4 “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
It is the parents’ responsibility to discipline their own children- promptly and to their own good, in the things of the Lord. Do not nag them, or provoke them to anger… but train and discipline them.

Eli was a priest before God. But he let his sons go astray in the service to the Lord. His sons grew wicked in their ways and Eli failed to discipline them. This was so displeasing in the sight of the Lord (1 Sam. 2:29). We know of the tragic end of Eli as well as his sons.

5. Instruction

We need to instruct our children in the ways of the Lord. Look at Timothy in the Bible. Paul says : “…and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” [2 Tim. 3:15].

Timothy’s mother was Jewish; but his father was Greek. Now see the role of Timothy’s mother (and grand-mother) shaping the destiny of the young child, Timothy. He was, from the childhood, taught by his mother about the Holy Scriptures.

We thank God for Sunday School teachers who take part in the responsibility of sharing God’s word to our children. It is indeed a great sacrifice. But the primary responsibility of sharing instructions from God’s word still rests with the parents. Eli displeased God; but in contrast, Abraham pleased God. The Bible says about Abraham: “For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.” [Gen. 18:19]. And we know of Isaac, how he too followed his father Abraham, in the ways of the LORD; obedient even to the sacrificial offering on the altar.

6. Provision
1 Tim. 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

In those days, there were believers who gathered together and were busy in one thing or other, even to the extent of neglecting their own family; and Paul cautions them that they first care and provide for their own lest they become worse than an unbeliever!

If you are a young adult waiting to get married, God’s word for you is this: Prepare your outside work, make it fit for yourself in the field and afterward build your house. [Prov. 24:27] Don’t rush into marriage before being able to provide for your family.

7. Be an example

In 1 Cor. 11:1 Paul says: Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

I know this is a challenge for any parent to say these very words to their own children. You see, we may speak of so many good things from God’s word to our children, but if our lifestyle does not match what we speak, our children will get some mixed signals. Instead, we must prove to our children that what we speak is also what we do! Even without words, if our children see what we are upto in God’s ways, it is certain that the right seed is going into their hearts. It will produce a fruit-filled life in them.

Indeed, we wish our children well; but we must have faith, lift them in prayer, love them deeply, and discipline them out of love; instruct them in the right way and provide for their needs.

We ought to follow the example of Abraham (and not Eli) in disciplining and in instructing our children. We can be examples of Godly character, just as Paul saying with confidence “Imitate me”. And our children will be like well-nourished plants and like pillars in the house of God. Let this be our heritage as parents. Amen.